A Mother's Burning Guilt
by EnergyBlastNinjaWriter
Summary: (Oneshot.) Misako has had a aching feeling in her gut for years, and the source of it is her guilt over her son, Lloyd. As guilt turns to depression, Lloyd decides to step in. (Takes place after Hands of Time.)


Misako was numb. Her entire body felt as if it were asleep, yet her conscious was awake, and she was still aware of her surroundings.

She felt a stinging feeling inside her gut, and it plagued her almost every night, leaving her restless. Light purple bags began slowly appearing under her old eyes, and her hair appeared almost grayer than normal. She also became quieter, and smiled every so often.

Of course, everyone noticed this change in Misako at some point. But the one who noticed it from the beginning, just from the sorrow in her eyes, was her son.

Oh soul, she knew she didn't deserve a son so kind, so gentle, so forgiving...

She also knew she didn't deserve to be forgiven.

She didn't even deserve to be seeing her son anymore.

Seeing him for the first time in 13 years back at the museum was what really started the burning guilt in Misako's heart.

When Lloyd first saw her in the museum, clad in his bright green gi and shining armor, he had been angry. She could just see the hatred through his eyes. It was the same burning passion that she had once seen in Garmadon before his fall to the dark.

But she had made excuses for why she had left him. Oh soul, why had she made excuses? Why couldn't she just be honest with her son for once?

But he had bought her excuse and eventually forgave her. Ever since then, Lloyd had been close to her, and valued her more than most people in his life.

She had been by his side in the events leading up to the Final Battle between him and his father. She had tried to prevent it. Or had she?

She should have known it was inevitable. But deep down, she probably did. She had made an excuse, that she had left Lloyd only to "find a way to prevent the Final Battle." What a rotten lie.

She had been forced to stand helplessly as her son battled the Overlord, and her husband was purified of the evil in his heart.

The battle was over, Garmadon was saved, and the family was back together at last. So why did she still feel so bad inside?

Then, in a blur, she had lost Garmadon again, and so did Lloyd. She watched as the loss only made her son stronger, and he matured into a young man that Misako had always wanted Lloyd to become. He became distant, and was becoming an adult.

This scared Misako.

And then that horrible wretch Morro possessed her son, and made him do terrible things that Lloyd probably had no recollection of. All over a green gi.

And just like that, she got Lloyd back again, and he began training to become a Sensei, just like his father.

Just like his father...

She could feel her son slipping through her fingers. She wished she had more time.

And soon, they lost Wu as well, and Lloyd was her only family left. But more importantly, she was his only family left. She knew she had to be there for him, but she knew it would never be enough.

Such an amazing son doesn't deserve such a rotten excuse for a mother.

Misako had told herself this many times, and it began wearing her down very quickly. No matter how many gifts she gave him, no matter how many things she did...it would never be enough.

She had lied. She had abandoned her only son. Her amazing son. She let him grow up in a boarding school, without a mother for nearly 12 years.

Lloyd had confronted her one night. He had been worried sick about her. He was worried she was becoming ill, that he would lose her too.

She remembered his exact words,

"I need you, Mom. I love you so much."

She had snapped, her composure crumbling and her face falling. She fell into the arms of her son, her amazing son.

She let the tears fall, and in that moment Lloyd simply rubbed her back, soothing her and letting her know it would all be alright.

She confessed everything that she had locked away in her heart for so many years, spilling out to her son her guilt and shame.

She had left him because she was ignorant, because she was afraid. She was so young, and without a father for the child, she didn't want to raise a son on her own. She had abandoned Lloyd, leaving him in a boarding school. She should have kept him with her, let him go to a real school and make real friends like a normal kid. She could have at least left him with his uncle. So why did she leave him at a boarding school?

Lloyd softly sang to his sobbing mother in that moment, in the dark and cool of the room.

His words pierced through her again, but this time she was ready to trust them.

"I don't care what you did, Mom. You're here with me now, and that's all that matters. I forgive you."

Once more, Misako smiled at the thought that she of all mothers was lucky enough to have such an amazing young man as her only son.

"Thank you, Lloyd. I love you."

But maybe it wasn't luck.

Maybe it truly was...

Destiny.

 **Did anyone else cry? I sure did! Misako gets a lot of hate, and I really wanted to remind fans that Misako, just like everyone else, is human. She makes mistakes, just like us. She may have made bad decisions, but she's trying to make up for them. If she is still alive in Season 8, I'd love to see some more interaction between her and Lloyd, which is something the past few seasons have been lacking.**

 **Updates for RotO and BCiMF coming soon!**

 **Until next time,**

 **EB**


End file.
